Some people have heard of EMDR Therapy, or, if you’re like me, you saw it for the first time on Grey’s Anatomy, when Jo Wilson went to inpatient mental health treatment after her birth mother rejected her. Maybe you heard about it on the show The Me You Can’t See when Prince Harry let the world into his therapy session where he was using EMDR Therapy as treatment. Or maybe your therapist or doctor suggested it as a treatment for you, but you have no idea what it is or why they’d suggest it. Well – here is a simple, digestible explanation of what I think is a pretty amazing therapeutic modality.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR Therapy stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy, which is a long name to explain that through bilateral stimulation, stuck, difficult, or traumatic memories are made less difficult to think about, and brought into the present moment, so you don’t get pulled back to the past every time you think about them. Essentially, we are changing the way memories are stored in your brain, so they are not so hot to the touch. EMDR Therapy is an eight-phase therapy that addresses past trauma by isolating specific memories that activate you. We do this by taking a detailed history, giving you coping skills, identifying beliefs, feelings, and body sensations associated with the memory, and working through a set protocol to help reduce distress.

The best part? You don’t have to go into extreme detail to do this. In fact, I don’t want you to. I always ask my clients to give me the “headline”, or the major components so that we can be on the same page, but the paragraphs and sentences on the page are already known to your nervous system, so we don’t have to dig into them in a traditional therapeutic sense. EMDR Therapy taps into your brain’s natural ability to heal (literally), and my job is to help facilitate that process.

Why Do Traumatic Memories Get Stuck, and How Does EMDR Therapy Help?

When a trauma happens, like a car accident, sudden death, abuse from a partner or caregiver, or being bullied in school, our brains go into survival mode. You’ve likely heard for fight, flight, or freeze.

This is the state where our mind detects danger and does what it needs to in order to survive – run away, shut down, or appease people around us. With adequate social support and care, traumas don’t have to be traumatic. However, if you didn’t or don’t have access to support, a trauma is more likely to be stored in an unhealthy way in your nervous system and become traumatic. This is where we often see signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – flashbacks, high levels of anxiety associated with triggers, sleep disruptions, intrusive thoughts or memories, and constantly feeling on guard. Imagine a file that never finished downloading properly because your computer didn’t have the right systems to support it. When you open it, it glitches. This is what is happening when you are triggered. EMDR Therapy helps your brain finish downloading that file (in this case, the memory) so it no longer gets stuck.

The Eight Phases of EMDR Therapy: How Does This Actually Work?

One of my favourite ways to explain how EMDR therapy helps process trauma is by using the image of a strand of twinkly lights.

Imagine that every area you’re struggling with—perhaps body image, relationships, self-worth, or anxiety—has its own strand of lights. That strand represents the network of memories your brain has connected to that particular experience.

Each light bulb is a different memory. Some bulbs are tiny and barely noticeable. These represent the everyday, adaptive memories that don’t cause you distress. Other bulbs are much larger. These are the painful or maladaptively stored memories that continue to affect how you think, feel, and respond today.

Sometimes, one of those larger bulbs isn’t fully screwed into the strand. When that happens, the electricity can’t flow properly, and every bulb beyond it stays dark. In the same way, an unprocessed traumatic memory can interrupt your brain’s natural ability to connect with more adaptive memories and beliefs. Instead, you may find yourself feeling stuck, reacting in ways you don’t fully understand, or believing things about yourself that no longer fit who you are.

EMDR therapy doesn’t erase those painful memories or pretend they never happened. Instead, we begin by making sure you have the tools you’ll need—such as grounding techniques, emotion regulation skills, and a strong sense of safety—before we start processing.

Then, together, we identify those “stuck” light bulbs and help your brain do what it was always designed to do: fully process and integrate them. As each memory becomes more adaptively stored, it’s like screwing that bulb securely back into the strand. The electricity can flow again, allowing the rest of the lights—and all of the healthier memories, beliefs, and experiences connected to them—to shine.

The memories don’t disappear. They simply stop interrupting the rest of the story your brain is trying to tell. EMDR Therapy uses an eight-phase approach to do this. These phases include:

  1. History Taking: Talking about what led you to where you are today, and what memories might need help to finish downloading.

  2. Preparation: working on coping skills, set realistic expectations, and make sure you feel connected to the person you are working with.

  3. Assessment: Isolating one memory to work on and identifying the images, beliefs, emotions, and body sensations associated with this memory. We talk about how distressing this memory is for you and how true the beliefs associated with it are.

  4. Desensitization: This is where bilateral stimulation comes in – eye movements, tapping, or sounds! We use it to reduce distress associated with the memory.

  5. Installation: recognizing and talking about healthier beliefs.

  6. Body Scan: Ensuring your body and your mind agree that this memory is no longer distressing.

  7. Closure: Helping you get back to a calm state so you can go about the rest of your life between sessions.

  8. Re-evaluation: at the beginning of your next session, we check in and see what else needs to be worked on associated with the memory.

Although these phases are described one by one, EMDR therapy isn’t about checking boxes or rushing from one step to the next. It’s a flexible, collaborative process that moves at the pace your nervous system is ready for. Some phases may take only part of a session, while others—especially preparation—may take several sessions, depending on your needs. The goal isn’t simply to “get through” the eight phases. It’s to help your brain safely finish processing experiences that have been keeping you stuck so those memories become part of your story, rather than continuing to control your present. Over time, many people find they can think about difficult experiences without feeling overwhelmed, respond to triggers with greater calm, and reconnect with the parts of themselves that trauma may have overshadowed.

How Long Does EMDR Therapy Take?

One of the most common questions I get is, “How long will EMDR therapy take?” The honest answer is that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all timeline.

The length of EMDR therapy depends on many factors, including the type of trauma you’ve experienced, your current coping skills, the support you have outside of therapy, and how your brain processes and integrates difficult memories.

If your EMDR journey takes longer than you expected, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. In fact, in trauma therapy, slow is often the fastest way forward.

As an EMDR therapist, my priority isn’t to rush into processing traumatic memories. My goal is to ensure you feel safe, prepared, and supported before we begin reprocessing. Together, we’ll build effective coping strategies, identify the memories and experiences that need attention, and establish a strong therapeutic relationship before moving into the reprocessing phases of EMDR (Phases 3–7).

This foundation can sometimes make the beginning of therapy feel slower, but it’s intentional. When your nervous system feels safe and regulated, it’s much better equipped to process difficult experiences without becoming overwhelmed. Rather than rushing into painful memories and risking emotional flooding, we work at a pace that supports lasting healing.

Healing isn’t a race. Taking the time to build a solid foundation often leads to deeper, more sustainable change.

What Can EMDR Therapy Help Treat?

Although EMDR Therapy is most well-known for treating trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), research has shown that its benefits extend far beyond a single diagnosis. At its core, EMDR Therapy is designed to help the brain process distressing experiences that continue to influence the way we think, feel, and respond in the present.

Many people are surprised to learn that trauma doesn’t have to involve a life-threatening event. Experiences such as ongoing criticism during childhood, bullying, difficult relationships, medical procedures, infertility, pregnancy loss, or a traumatic birth can all leave lasting imprints on the nervous system. When these experiences remain unprocessed, they can contribute to a wide range of emotional and psychological difficulties.

EMDR Therapy may be helpful for people experiencing:

  • Trauma and PTSD
  • Complex trauma and childhood trauma
  • Anxiety and panic attacks
  • Depression
  • Birth trauma and difficult pregnancy or postpartum experiences
  • Grief and loss
  • Phobias
  • Low self-esteem and negative core beliefs
  • Medical trauma
  • Relationship trauma
  • Distressing memories following accidents or injuries
  • Stress related to major life transitions

It’s important to remember that EMDR Therapy doesn’t treat a diagnosis as much as it helps process the experiences that may be contributing to it. For example, two people may both experience anxiety, but the memories and life experiences driving that anxiety may be completely different. EMDR Therapy helps identify and process those underlying experiences, so they no longer have the same emotional impact.

What Does the Research Say About EMDR Therapy?

EMDR Therapy is one of the most extensively researched treatments for trauma available today. Since it was first developed in the late 1980s by Francine Shapiro, hundreds of studies have examined its effectiveness, particularly for treating PTSD and other trauma-related symptoms.

Because of this strong body of evidence, EMDR Therapy is recommended in clinical practice guidelines around the world. Organizations such as the World Health Organization and the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies recognize EMDR Therapy as an evidence-based treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In Canada, many psychologists, social workers, psychotherapists, physicians, and specialized trauma programs also incorporate EMDR Therapy into treatment because of the substantial research supporting its effectiveness.

Research has consistently found that EMDR can significantly reduce symptoms of trauma, including intrusive memories, nightmares, hypervigilance, avoidance, and emotional distress. Many people also report improvements in self-esteem, emotional regulation, relationships, and overall quality of life after processing traumatic experiences.

Researchers continue to study EMDR Therapy for a variety of other concerns, including anxiety disorders, depression, chronic pain, grief, substance use disorders, and perinatal mental health challenges. While the strongest evidence remains for PTSD and trauma-related conditions, the research in these emerging areas continues to grow.

One of the reasons EMDR Therapy has become so widely used is that it doesn’t simply teach people how to manage symptoms. Instead, it aims to help the brain process the experiences that contributed to those symptoms in the first place. While no therapy can erase what happened, EMDR Therapy can help those memories lose their emotional intensity so they no longer feel like they are happening in the present.

Like any evidence-based therapy, EMDR Therapy isn’t a magic fix, and it isn’t the right approach for everyone. A thorough assessment with a trained EMDR Therapist can help determine whether it’s the best fit for your unique experiences, goals, and stage of healing.

Is EMDR Therapy Right for Everyone?

One of the biggest misconceptions about EMDR Therapy is that it’s the right starting point for anyone who has experienced trauma. While EMDR Therapy is an incredibly effective treatment for many people, the answer is a little more nuanced.

The short answer is: EMDR Therapy can be helpful for many people, but timing matters.

Before beginning trauma processing, it’s important that your nervous system has the resources it needs to tolerate difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed. Think of it like preparing for a hike—you wouldn’t head up a mountain without the right equipment. In the same way, EMDR Therapy works best when you have the skills and support needed to navigate challenging memories safely.

That’s why the preparation phase of EMDR Therapy is so important. Before we process traumatic experiences, we’ll spend time building coping strategies, strengthening your ability to regulate emotions, creating a sense of safety, and developing a trusting therapeutic relationship. For some people, this may take one or two sessions. For others—particularly those with complex or childhood trauma—it may take longer. Neither is better or worse. Your therapy is tailored to your needs, not someone else’s timeline.

There are also times when it makes sense to pause or delay trauma processing. If you’re experiencing a major crisis, living in an unsafe environment, actively using substances to cope, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed on a day-to-day basis, we may first focus on stabilization and building resources. This isn’t because EMDR Therapy won’t work—it’s because your brain and nervous system deserve a strong foundation before taking on difficult memories.

One of the things I appreciate most about EMDR Therapy is that it’s not a rigid protocol. It’s a client-centred, flexible approach that can be adapted to where you are in your healing journey. Sometimes therapy involves processing trauma. Other times, it involves strengthening your ability to cope with life’s current challenges before processing begins. Both are valuable parts of healing.

Ultimately, whether EMDR Therapy is the right fit depends on your unique experiences, your goals, and your readiness for trauma work. A thorough assessment with a trained EMDR therapist can help determine whether now is the right time to begin—or whether another approach, or a combination of therapies, would better support your healing.

The most important thing to know is this: you don’t have to be “ready for everything” before starting therapy. It’s your therapist’s job to help you become ready. Healing isn’t about pushing yourself faster than your nervous system can handle—it’s about creating the conditions where lasting change is possible. In my work with my clients, that’s my goal: to equip you with skills you need to do the heavy lifting, so you can move towards the life you want – one that isn’t ruled by your past.

Final Thoughts

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this article, it’s this: healing from trauma is possible.

EMDR Therapy isn’t about erasing your past or pretending difficult experiences never happened. It’s about helping your brain finish processing experiences that have been keeping you stuck, so they no longer have the same hold on your thoughts, emotions, body, and relationships.

Whether your trauma stems from a single event, years of difficult experiences, birth trauma, childhood experiences, or something that doesn’t seem “big enough” to be called trauma, your pain is valid. If it’s affecting the way you experience your life today, it’s worth exploring.

Taking the first step toward therapy can feel intimidating, especially if you’ve spent a long time carrying your experiences on your own. My hope is that this article has helped make EMDR Therapy feel a little less mysterious and a little more approachable. You don’t need to have all the answers before you begin—you simply need a willingness to start the conversation.

As an EMDR Therapist at Nurtured Family Counselling, my goal is to create a space where you feel safe, understood, and supported throughout the healing process. Together, we’ll move at a pace that feels right for your nervous system, building the skills and confidence you need before processing difficult memories. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to “get over it.” It’s about giving your brain the opportunity to do what it was designed to do all along.

If you’re an Ontario resident wondering whether EMDR Therapy might be the right fit for you, I’d love to connect. I offer virtual EMDR Therapy for adults across Ontario and provide a free 15-minute consultation so we can talk about your goals, answer your questions, and determine whether EMDR Therapy is the best next step for you.

Your past may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to keep writing your future.