Online therapy across Ontario
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Counselling
Is your grief heavier than the people around you seem to realize? Counselling gives you space to grieve your baby and find a way to carry the loss.
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Grief after loss
Does it seem like everyone else has moved on?
Whether your baby died early in pregnancy, later on, at birth or in the months after, you lost your baby. The same is true if you ended a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons. Your grief is real, and it deserves care.
Other people may not know what to say, or may say the wrong thing. Many parents grieve quietly, go back to work quickly and feel alone with it. Grief can also show up as anxiety, especially when you’re trying again or pregnant again.
There’s no right way or timeline to grieve.
Pregnancy after loss
Hope and fear often arrive together when you try again
A positive test after a loss rarely feels simple. Many parents dread every appointment and scan, hold off on telling anyone, or feel guilty for being excited about a new baby while still missing the one they lost.
That fear makes sense. A large review of research on miscarriage found it raises the risk of anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress.[1] (source, opens in a new tab)
Therapy can help you grieve the baby you lost and make room for this pregnancy too, at whatever pace feels right. We can start before you’re trying again, during pregnancy or after your new baby arrives.
Why it’s so hard
Loss in pregnancy is common, yet often grieved alone
About 15 in every 100 known pregnancies end in miscarriage.[1] (source, opens in a new tab) Still, in an Ontario survey of 596 families after pregnancy or infant loss, only about a third felt fully supported at the time of their loss.[2] (source, opens in a new tab)
Grief others can’t see
When few people knew about the pregnancy or met your baby, there’s little room to grieve openly.
Questions without answers
Many losses come with no clear cause, which can leave you searching for one, often in yourself.
Reminders keep coming
Due dates, baby announcements and simple questions like “Do you have kids?” can reopen the loss.
How therapy helps
Grieve your baby and find your footing again
Counselling gives you a steady place to talk about your baby and everything the loss has changed. We go at your pace, and there’s no expectation to move on.
Make room for grief
Talk about your baby and your loss as often as you need, with someone who won’t rush you.
Ease the guilt
Let go of the self-blame and the what-ifs, and start to treat yourself with more kindness.
Calm the fear
Feel steadier when anxiety shows up, including around blood tests, ultrasounds or a new pregnancy.
Plan for hard days
Prepare for due dates, anniversaries and other hard days, so they feel less overwhelming.
Feel less alone
Feel closer to your partner and the people around you, even when you’re grieving differently.
Our approach
Specialized perinatal care with room for grief
Sessions are warm and unhurried, and you’re welcome to talk about your baby by name. We draw on Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT), which has a specific focus on grief, along with CBT and ACT when anxiety is part of the picture.
Perinatal Mental Health Certified (PMH-C)
Postpartum Support International
EMDRIA Certified Therapist
EMDR International Association
Specialized in the perinatal years
I hold the Perinatal Mental Health Certification (PMH-C) from Postpartum Support International. Pregnancy, loss and the early months are the centre of our practice.
Help with what’s underneath
If memories of the loss keep replaying, EMDR can help them settle. I’m an EMDRIA Certified Therapist.
Somewhere private to talk
Sessions are by secure video, so you can talk from home and take a quiet moment afterwards. Saturday appointments are available too.
Nicole Graff-Rowe
MSW, RSW · PMH-C · EMDRIA Certified Therapist
- Online sessions, anywhere in Ontario
- Based in Waterloo Region
- No referral needed
About your therapist
Hi, I’m Nicole, a certified perinatal therapist
I started Nurtured Family Counselling so people have somewhere to say the hard things out loud without being judged. Some of the hardest things are the ones other people don’t see.
I want to understand your history, your struggles and your story, and help you move forward in a way that’s rooted in your own values and goals.
Whether your baby died early in pregnancy, later on or after birth, I’ll treat your loss as the loss of your baby. You can talk about them here for as long as you need to.
FAQ
Questions parents ask before booking
It’s normal to have questions before reaching out. If yours isn’t here, you can send us a message.
Is it normal to still be grieving months later?
Yes. Grief after pregnancy or infant loss doesn’t follow a timeline, and it often comes in waves. It can feel stronger around due dates, anniversaries or other people’s pregnancies.
Why do I feel so anxious after a miscarriage?
Anxiety is common after a loss, especially when you’re trying again or pregnant again. A loss can shake your sense that your body and the future are safe. Therapy can help with both the grief and the fear.
Is an early loss “big enough” for counselling?
Yes. However early it happened, if your loss is weighing on you, it’s worth talking about.
Can a loss be traumatic?
Yes. Some losses involve emergencies, frightening procedures or moments that are hard to forget. If memories keep replaying, EMDR can help, and you can read more about birth trauma therapy.
Can my partner get support too?
Yes. Partners grieve too, often in different ways and sometimes quietly. You can read more about support for dads and partners.
Is therapy covered by insurance?
Many workplace health plans cover therapy with a Registered Social Worker, and you don’t need a referral to book. Fees, receipts and how to check your coverage are on the Fees and insurance page.
Get started
You don’t have to grieve alone.
We can talk about your baby, what happened and what you need right now.
Book a Free Consultation (opens in a new tab)